Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 7, Episode 11
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eleventh episode of the seventh series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'FB' – Frankie Boyle *'RH' – Russell Howard *'SM' – Sarah Millican *'DM' – David Mitchell Topics Lines You Wouldn't Hear In a Horror Movie *'FB:' 'GET OUT OF THE WATER, QUICK!' 'Is it a shark?' 'IT'S BARRYMORE!' *'HD:' I am Lucifer, lord of the night! And tonight, I'll be singing 'Complicated' by Avril Lavigne. *'SM:' Dave, Dave, wake up! I think I can hear a noise downstairs! Wake up wake up! Oh hold on... no, it's just the washing machine, I put it on earlier on. *'RH:' He's making a suit out of women's skin! Gok Wan has gone too far this time! *'FB:' 'I am from Transylvania and I will suck you dry!' 'Oh yes? And what about your cheeky sister?' *'HD:' No, sorry, Freddy, I think your satnav's on the blink. This is Elm Crescent. *'AP:' The child is vomiting, its head is rotating, and it seems to be possessed by the devil. However Britain's Social Services have visited twenty times, and they think everything's okay! *'DM:' (imitates creaky door opening) I'm here to fix the hinges? *'FB:' As a vampire I cannot bear direct sunlight, which is why I moved to Scotland. But now I can't find any virgins! *'HD:' (imitates old woman voice) Red rum... Red rum... (normal voice) is over the last and wins the National! *'RH:' From the makers of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre comes The Swindon Lawnmower Kerfuffle! *'FB:' This potion that turns you from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde, it looks a lot like six cans of Stella! *'AP:' STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY FROM THE CASTLE! THE CAFÉ IS OVERPRICED AND THE GIFT SHOP'S SHIT! Unlikely Things To Hear On a Children's TV Programme *'HD:' We have John Craven. If you want to see him again, press the red button. *'FB:' (imitates holding a drawing) This drawing has been sent in by Robert, age 9! That's a shit drawing, Robert. There are... children your age in China who can make shoes! *'AP:' This weeks episode of Thomas the Tank Engine has been cancelled, and replaced by Ronald, the Replacement Bus Service. *'HD:' No no, no it's not Bagpuss, but it is a dead cat I've turned into a bag. *'FB:' 'There's a rumor that the Teletubbies have been infiltrated by Al Qaida! Have you, Tinky-Winky?' '(shakes head) Toodeloodeloodeloodeloo!' 'Have you, Dipsy?' '(shakes head) Toodeloodeloodeloodeloo!' 'Rachid?' *'DM:' And remember, while crystal meth is a lovely treat, it is very bad for your teeth. *'AP:' 'Flobadobadob!' said Bill. 'Bloody foreigners!' said Ben. *'FB:' 'Flobadobadobadob!' said Ben, because he'd had a stroke. *'SM:' And today, children, we're gonna be learning where babies come from! Part one: foreplay! *'DM:' This year, we're sending condoms to Africa! So just ask your Mom and Dad to wash a couple out and send them in! *'RH:' Are your mommy and daddy out of the room? Good! Listen... you're adopted. *'FB:' Next up: Sharpy and Ryan take their audition failure very badly, in Columbine High School Musical. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See Category:Scenes We'd Like To See